


Without Me

by RedHairedAce



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, I dont know what else to say haha, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Mentions nsfw, Swearing, Toxic Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, but there isn't smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:21:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27901402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHairedAce/pseuds/RedHairedAce
Summary: A story inspired by the song "Without Me" by Halsey. It details the story of a doomed relationship between two lovers and I thought it was fitting for Eustass "Captain" Kid. Thank you and I hope you enjoy reading this.
Relationships: Eustass Kid/Reader, Killer/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	Without Me

**Author's Note:**

> I had written this on my Tumblr blog. I am basically going to use this account to post only my one-shots and fic series. Check me out on Tumblr @RedHairedAce where I am most active and take requests.
> 
> Word Count: 4201

_**Found you when your heart was broke** _

**_I filled your cup until it overflowed_ **

**_Took it so far to keep you close_ **

**_I was afraid to leave you on your own_ **

Being with Eustass “Captain” Kid was no easy task. No one even said it was to begin with. You were naive, and maybe you were at fault for ignoring all the warnings that were thrown at you. The rumors surrounding him should’ve been enough to keep you away. They were so obviously right, but you still chose to ignore them. Maybe you thought you were an exception? The solution to his issues? But, you learned way too late that it was a mistake to think this way. It was stupid to have thought that way to begin with. There was no changing who he was and you should’ve accepted that. 

You impressed him enough that you were let in to his crew. You were strong and that was apparent to the Kid Pirates. You could handle yourself just fine, and you were strategic enough to get yourself out of trouble. Your high bounty was the first thing that caught his attention. You were a fighter with all the right spark and attitude to you and that was all he needed. You could add “stubborn” to the list of qualities you had, but that was now more of a negative than a positive. 

Sure, you thought he was attractive at first glance, how could you not? He was stacked, for lack of a better term, his towering stature was intimidating. Ignoring how his muscles bulged whenever he flexed or became hard as a rock was a hard task. You always tried so hard to stare at anything other than his biceps. To sum it all up, he was attractive. But, it wasn’t enough for you to start developing feelings for him. 

The days of you being a new recruit to the crew passed by as they turned into weeks, and then turned into months, only to finally be nearing the two year mark. You fit right in with the others and it felt good to be a part of the crew. Wire was fun to be around when he let loose, he was probably the second most difficult person to get close to next to Kid. Heat was someone you could go to whenever you just wanted to chat with someone when the loneliness was getting too difficult to bear with. Killer, however, was the closest friend you had gotten on the crew despite having a rocky start. Kid was a far different story, despite having been accepted and given the stamp of approval to join his crew, the tension between the two of you had been uncomfortable to deal with. 

The hard stares he would make towards your figure whenever you entered the room made you nervous and left you wondering if you had something on your face that was causing such a reaction. The times that an opponent got the upper hand in a battle causing Kid to come in and assist you unprompted surprised you. You could’ve handled it by yourself, but he always finished them off and then proceeded to scold you much to your annoyance. These events always ended up in some sort of argument which came as a shock to many seeing that if it were anyone else the person would’ve gotten their ass kicked off the ship already. 

_**I said I’d catch you if you fall** _

**_And if they laugh, then fuck ‘em all_ **

You and the crew have found yourselves in some standard-looking bar, nothing really out of the usual, but no one could have predicted what was about to occur this particular night. It was an incredibly packed bar this time around, but it didn’t really matter because everyone made way for the Kid Pirates as soon as you had all entered. Between all the bodies and drinks passing around, you and Kid seemed to have stuck together. One small remark coming from the other, at this point you had forgotten who, but the both of you ended up in an argument again. So, both of you slightly buzzed from the few drinks you managed to indulge in considering there was no fucking room to even left your elbow up, you both decided it was a good idea to turn this into a competition. You and Kid “brilliantly” thought it was a good idea to get hammered quick and whoever couldn’t take it was declared the loser that would no doubt endure endless mocking from the other for the next few days. Somewhere in between the third bottle, Kid had said something to provoke you causing the two of you to get awfully close to each other’s face getting ready to bite the other’s head off. 

With his calloused hand gripping your wrist the two of you got ready to tell the other to fuck off disrespectfully, but you got distracted. From here, you could really focus on his face. The small freckles that were only noticeable at this distance caught your attention. The way they were spread out within distance of each other was adorable. His orange eyes all sharp caused by his glare that was humorous due to the lack of eyebrows made him even more endearing to you. His burgundy tinted lips were pulled into a bitter frown as you observed him. You felt your cheeks heating up as you tried to avoid eye-contact as much as possible, almost as if you were becoming embarrassed? You were paying way too much attention to how he looked other than the usual glance at the man’s brawny form. You were about to say something until he took his unoccupied hand to hold your chin in place. You felt your breathing become more erratic and your eyes widened as you were understanding where this was leading. You couldn’t focus on anything else as he leaned in. Your heart was pounding as he did so. His entire form was basically engulfing your’s as he reached your parted lips. 

When his lips softly brushed your’s, he almost hesitated, he continued when you tilted your head in compliance to which he responded by rushing in to meet your parted lips. The sudden transition of being treated delicately to finding yourself in a heated kiss was enough to take your breath away. He kissed you with such a hunger and fervent need that you almost had to take a step back. The hand that was previously holding your chin was grasping the back of your head while his other hand gripped your waist so tightly as if you were going to break away from him, although you had no such plan. The way his tongue had slipped into your parted lips in such a demanding manner had made your knees weak. The way he invaded your senses to make you melt this way had made you desperately cling on the back of his neck as the kiss had commanded him to lean closer to you allowing you to reach that area. Your other hand pulled at his flaming hair earning you a low groan from your burly captain. His slightly chapped lips tasting of the liquor he had just indulged in along with whatever remnants of makeup he had on them overwhelmed you that no amount of yapping and hollering coming from onlookers would distract you from them. You bloomed for him as his tongue continued this dance with your’s. Knowing no one else’s touch will ever command such a burning need in your body for the remainder of your life.

You were the first to pull away, the need to breathe in sweet oxygen was getting more difficult to ignore, but you did it as slowly as you could manage. As the two of you parted your eyes remained closed, as if opening them would ruin the lingering effect the kiss had for the both of you. He was the first to open his eyes as he gazed on to your flustered figure. You were breathing in and out so desperately, trying to compose yourself before facing the man that had left you in such a state. You didn’t have time to say anything before he was already leading you out the bar, with unstable steps in his stride, holding you by your waist. He didn’t even acknowledge the remainder of his crew that he left behind as you followed him along in excitement to wherever he was planning on taking you. 

A genius didn’t need to figure out how the night was gonna end for the two of you. Ending up in his bedroom as the gasps of you and your partner resonated around the walls of the room. The moaning that came from your swollen lips clouding his mind with the only goal being to make those noises continue falling from your lips. His groaning had the same effect on you causing you to drag little red trails down his back. It was probably for the best that the crew had decided to stay back a little later than usual in the dim-lifted bar with questions flying back and forth between the men wondering what this night would mean for the two of you. 

After that night, the two of you decided there was no way you could be without the other now that you had a taste of what could be. Inseparable were the two of you, never leaving the other’s side unless duty called for the captain or tasks needing to be completed pulled you away from his side. The bickering had never stopped, nor did you want it to, it was harmless with no real hostility ever being behind it. You defended him and he protected you, although you didn’t need a “Prince Charming” to come to your rescue, he still swore that he’d be there to shield you from whatever danger you came across on his journey to becoming King of the Pirates. The insults, taunts, and sneers directed at Kid were always met by your fury. You took them personally and told everyone that ever tried to beat Kid down to disrespectfully “fuck off” unless they were asking for trouble. You knew he wasn’t perfect, god knows he was far from it, but it didn’t matter to you. He loved you and you loved him. When someone gained your love, they gained all of your loyalty, the most precious gift you could give to someone. Maybe you had misread what love meant to him, maybe it never really meant anything to him at all, having someone there to support him and love him without wanting anything back had made him take you for granted.

**_And then I got you off your knees_ **

**_Put you right back on your feet_ **

**_Just so you could take advantage of me_ **

It didn’t start right away. But, the glue that had made the two of you stick together by each other’s side started to weaken. He was getting more and more caught up with his ultimate goal that he sometimes didn’t come to bed. You’d have been sleeping for a while whenever he decided it was time to finally have some deserved rest. You would always wait for him, until sighing in disappointment every time he didn’t come early and deciding to just head to bed without him. He’d always kiss your forehead whenever he climbed into bed and got comfortable by holding you close to his chest as his legs tangled with your’s. You would still wake up at the same time, deciding to start the day off with some alone time together filled with passionate kisses and light chatter that would end up with you giggling as he gave you a big smirk at your happy being. You would make time out of your day, even if it was just a minute, to come see him in his workshop or whenever he was yelling out orders to his crew. He always would calm down with your soft-spoken words and loving touches. Everything was okay for a while. . and then it really hit. 

He became more and more preoccupied in achieving his goals. The problem wasn’t even that to be honest, it was how such devotion to his goal created such a storm within him that he took out such anger on everybody. He stopped kissing you on the forehead everytime he climbed into bed late, and would never take you into his arms like he used to. The two of you slept with your backs facing each other as the chill of the open window made your body quiver. He would wake up either far earlier than you, or a little later than you so the moments that you once had to dote on him had completely disappeared. Everytime you would decide to come and chat with him like you used to do, you would be met with harsh rejection and an irritated look on his face. You stopped doing it altogether and would just focus on your own problems within the ship. You still tried to do what you could to help him, but even then he didn’t want your help. The fondness you always displayed in your voice and eyes when speaking about him faded and you only gave a forced smile whenever someone mentioned him to you. Yet. . 

You still defended him against the world. 

**_Te_ ** **_ll me how’s it feel sittin’ up there_ **

**_Feeling so high but too far away to hold me_ **

He ignored you altogether. Killer was the only one you could come to with your tears and sobs as he embraced you making circles on your back in comfort. You had made him promise you wouldn’t mention a thing to Kid, because you were certain it would work out in the end and everything would come back to normal. But, it never did.

**_Name in the sky_ **

**_Does it ever get lonely?_ **

He was making a name for himself, growing his reputation day by day with every battle he overcame. His name alone could strike instant fear to every soul that has heard of his horrific crimes. The insults and taunting would decrease with each day as folks were taking the rookie more seriously than ever before. The damage he would cause with each island he reached to was being gossiped about throughout the Grandline. He was becoming more cocky than he already was to begin with. It was at this point in your life that you stopped talking to him altogether, not by your own accord, but he always put a halt to you whenever you tried to speak. He always mentioned being too occupied to have time for you, or having more important things to do than to stay here and do nothing with you. His kisses didn’t even give make you melt in his arms like they used to. Rough, he was always rough in his kisses but now he didn’t give a shit nor put in the effort in his love. Everything was half-assed with him now, only taking what he wanted and leaving you to deal with your broken heart by yourself. Your heart was cracking each and everyday as you desperately cried to yourself whenever you had the opportunity to be completely alone. 

**_I don’t know why_ **

**_Gave love 'bout a hundred tries_ **

You always justified and defended him even in your own head. So in love were you with what once was that you were trying to recreate the past in anyway that you could. You still clung to his loveless kisses and touches, because that type of affection was better than none. Killer was becoming more and more concerned with your crumbling state of mind that he took more time cleaning up the disastrous mess Kid had made to your fragile heart. Kid had long stopped asking you to stick to his side whenever they landed on an island, how he used to take the opportunity to spend time with his lover on land, now he didn’t even care how you spent your free time. He would go get drunk then come back to do the same shit of ignoring the dedicated soul he had that loved him too much for their own good. Killer would always spend time trying to ease your mind for as long as he could. You were always grateful for him, maybe you would have been completely destroyed already were it not for the blonde pirate that would do anything just to see you smile that long since forgotten smile. 

**_Just running from the demons in your mind_ **

**_Then I took yours and made 'em mine_ **

**_I didn’t notice 'cause my love was blind_ **

You snapped one day, you just couldn’t fucking take it anymore as you confronted him one night in his workshop. Your yelling began the second he told you to “piss off” as soon as you stepped foot into his space. You couldn’t hold it in anymore as you shouted your heart out trying to win this screaming competition you had with the menace of a captain. Your throat was in unbearable pain after you were finished. Your throat burning raw and yet you still couldn’t have given a shit when you faced the man that had tore your heart apart until there was nothing left. There was nothing more to give. His booming voice had thrown cruel insults and vile names at you as you fought. All that huffing and puffing as the man roared at you with his thunderous voice was the last straw. You didn’t cry that day, because there were no tears left to cry, you just gave him a dead stare when all was said and done. You had moved out of his room in a hurry as you thrown every personal belonging you had mixed in with him in the drawers back to the room that used to belong to you. That night was cold, but it didn’t bother you anymore as you had long since gotten used to the chill of the night.

_**You don’t have to say just what you did** _

**_I already know_ **

**_I had to go and find out from them_ **

**_So tell me how’s it feel_ **

After that fight, the crew felt like they were walking on eggshells with the two of you, no one made eye contact with either of you. The crew was afraid to become a potential punching bag to either of you after that notorious screaming match that probably could’ve been heard by a nearby ship if there was one at the time. 

You sat there at the bar counter, watching Kid obviously flirting with some beautiful woman that had caught his sight, and with a defeated sigh you stood. That was it, you couldn’t lie by saying it didn’t sting. But, you didn’t feel as devastated as you could have felt. Probably because that heartache had been strung along for all this time that it was almost like you already went through the pain of a breakup. A band aid that was insufferable because it was being yanked off as slow as possible. These past months you had already gotten the pain out of the way so now it was clear as day to you that he no longer was interested. 

You got up, walked past the crew as discreetly as you could, and left the bar to face the dark of the night. You didn’t take a lot of time to pack up your things, you never even put them away that day that you moved out of his room. You took the bag full of your belongings with you so you could walk away from this place forever. You were just on your way out when you looked up to see Killer waiting there for you. You smiled at him, but unlike the last few months this smile was the most genuine one you had given in a very long time. You made your way out so you could stand before Killer. No words were said, Killer didn’t need to convince you to stay.

Killer wasn’t a fool, if you stayed on this ship any longer you would become an empty shell of who you once were. He didn’t have the heart to tell you to stay, for it would only destroy whatever you had left in you and he could tell you could make it out of this alive if you left now. You set your bag down to pull the man into a warm embrace. You pulled him down by the back of his neck. He didn’t hesitate in returning it as he pulled you close to him by your waist. He breathed you in, knowing it may be the last time he will ever see you or, at least knowing it would be a long fucking time before he ever saw your face again. 

“ _I’ll miss you,_ ” he whispered into your ear as you buried your face into his neck. You let out a big sigh of relief and answered the towering man back. 

“ _I’ll miss you too,_ ” you murmured into his skin, but he heard you loud and clear as if you were yelling for the whole world to hear. You pulled away after a few more seconds and looked into his mask. You gave him a small kiss on his cheek and began to pick up your belongings that were on the ground next to you. You stared at each other one last time before you waved your final goodbye to him and started walking away. The sky was filled with stars as they twinkled above and made the sky appear far less frightening by the light they casted over the small island. The night wasn’t pitch black as all kinds of colors swirled together as if they were perfectly painted on a canvas touched only by the most skilled hands of a passionate artist. The moonlight reflected that beauty onto your smooth skin as you walked away. On that glorious night with the frigid wind causing momentary discomfort on Killer’s exposed arms, did he smile behind his mask, and he had realized something. No matter what was thrown your way and whatever hardships you would come across, you would always be okay.

_And that was a thought that comforted Killer immensely._

**_Thinking you could live without me_**

“ _ **Hey!**_ ” you shouted over to the blonde woman that was currently putting bags of fruits and vegetables into a tiny little boat. An older man was looking over the bags and marking things off on a little notebook as he opened the large sacks to count off the amount of vegetables they seemed to be packed with. She looked up to you as you approached her with your bag in tow. 

“ _Sorry, but we aren’t selling anything anymore. . and we won’t be coming to this island until next week,_ ” her monotonous tone reached your ears and you waited for her to finish. 

“ _Oh! That wasn’t what I was going to ask! I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind hitching me a ride?_ ” You tilted your head in question as the woman stopped her task and took the time to really look you over. 

“ _Where ya’ headed? We aren’t gonna change our route just for you hun,_ ” She replied to you as the man stopped his counting to look over at the situation. 

“ _Nowhere in particular. . I’ll just hop off at the island you guys are going to,_ ” you assured her as your gaze shifted to the older man as if asking his permission as well. The man just looked at the woman and she met his gaze as they came to some silent agreement. She turned back to look at you and you flashed her a nervous grin. 

“ _Alright. . It ain’t gonna be that comfy for ya’ on the boat though_ ,” she nodded to you and began organizing the bags yet again. You gave a big smile at them and shook your head. 

“ _I don’t mind,_ ” you crouched down the port to land on the merchants’ small boat. You set your bag down and began to help the woman move the bags of fruits inside the boat to speed along the process. She flashed you a grateful grin as you stood next to her. Once everything was accounted for and put on the boat they finally began to sail away. 

The woman sat across from you as she rested up from all the heavy lifting. You just stared at the enormous Pirate ship that you once called your home for the past two years becoming bright as the lights in the ship were beginning to turn on signaling the return of the entire crew. Your heart clenched, knowing that there would be a possibility that you’d never see Kid ever again, but you managed a smile anyways. You hoped for his sake that his dream would come true, and that everything was worth it in the end.

**_Now that he would go on and live without you._**


End file.
